DARKLY DREAMS THE SWAN OF BLACK LAKE

I am the silent watcher.

With welcoming arms I embrace my dark passenger.

Deep inside, the darkness rises as I patiently wait for the crescendo.

Eternally bound to each other like lovers; old souls cast back into youth.

It’s not without difficulty, learning to accept truth.

I am that I am and will always be forever just you and me; you and I for eternity fighting to be set free.

It’s not without difficulty, living with secrets.

I try to hide, to keep it inside but the more I try the more you push, to break away from the cage I’ve imprisoned you in, locked somewhere between heart and mind.

They call it sickness but I call it purpose.

They call it insanity but I call it freedom.

I am the judge and jury of my own fate and the God of my own demise.

Who are you to tell me what’s real?

What gives you the right to condemn and condone?

I am pure.

My troubled past haunts me every day and at night my fears become my fantasies.

With waking eyes I am reborn to suffer again as if for the very first time.

Yet all I can see is her; behind all her perfections, imperfections, flaws, and insecurities all that emerges is the miracle that is her.

I’m of the mind who seeks to know and understand truth.

But only all that can be does become and I am left wanting more; never fully satisfied.

I am the villain of the story coursing through your veins, infecting your thoughts and poisoning your words.

I am the hero suppressing your doubts and masking the negativity that envelops your senses.

We are one and without each other we could not exist.

My love and hate for you, for us, will grow and diminish with your last effort.

Time is on my side but always is against you so learn to live without rules.

I’ve learned to control that which can’t be tamed; learned to bend to my will that which can’t be named.

But my will is blind just like me and I’ll always struggle to truly see.

So, I’ll keep both eyes open at all times and learn to think with an open mind.

Thank you for your ignorance, you are too kind.

Your stupidity and vanity will stand the test of time.

I am your humble servant no more, but then again… was I ever truly yours before.

No more will I be a part of the mean and vicious cycle.

No more will I partake in the addition to the chaos.