Letting go

There, you are, illuminated

In a sea of dimmed lights

Here, I am, captivated 

By your lovely glowing sight 

All of your noise breaks the silence

All of my sound, restless and wild

And all we need to say to change everything

Is let's shorten the miles

And I know, it's scary to let it all go

The fear of the certain unknown

The risk of losing your own soul  

But I promise it's worth it, and

Only love comes after letting go

Here, I am, patiently waiting 

In the dark, worryingly wondering

There, you are, shinning more brightly 

Than anyone I've ever seen burn

And I know, it's scary to let it all go

The fear of the certain unknown

The risk of losing your own soul  

But I promise it's worth it, and

Only love comes after letting go

I don't know if you're afraid

I don't know what's keeping you away

I don't know what to think

I don't know what to say

Except that I'll wait patiently 

I know that I'm afraid

Of doing anything to push you away

I know that I'm scared 

And I know who you are

So I'll wait patiently

And I know, it's scary to let it all go

Let my light shine bright to guide you home

And I know, it's scary to let it all go

Cause' uncertainty is too much to control 

But I promise I'm worth it, and

Only love comes after letting go 

  

Without You

Crying myself to sleep again

Will this nightmare ever end?

She doesn't know

She will never understand 

Crying myself through the night 

Letting her go with the morning light

She doesn't know

She will never understand

And where are you? (I miss you)

Where are you? (I miss you)

Who am I without you? (do you miss me too?)

Crying again, one last time

I was a fool to think you were mine

She cannot know 

She will never understand

And where are you? (Crying myself to sleep again)

Where are you? (Will this nightmare ever end?)

I miss you (She doesn't know)

Do you miss me too? (She will never understand)  

And where are you? (Crying myself through the night)

Where are you? (Letting her go with the morning light)

I miss you (She doesn't know)

Do you miss me to? (She will never understand) 

Crying again, one last time

I was a fool to think you were mine

She cannot know (I miss you)

She will never understand (Do you miss me too?)

Katie

In the corner of my room

On the edge of my bed

I think about us

And all the things we said

To each other about one another

And it makes me sad tonight

In the corner of your room

On the edge of your bed

Do you think about us

And all the things we said

To each other about one another

Does it make you sad tonight

Katie don't cry, don't cry

Katie don't cry tonight

If you see Katie, that pale skinned lady

Tell her not to cry tonight

On the corner of my wrist 

On the edge of my sleeve

Is where I left my heart

For you to keep

Safe from all the monsters

That walk amongst us tonight

On the corner of your wrist

On the edge of your sleeve

Is where you left your heart

To bleed for me

And for all the monsters

And the ghosts that haunt you tonight

Katie don't cry, don't cry

Katie don't cry tonight

If you see Katie, that bat-winged lady

Tell her not to cry tonight

Katie don't cry, don't cry

Katie don't cry tonight

If you see Katie, that Cat-Bat lady

If you see Katie

Tell her not to cry, tonight

K. G-D.

 Art by Gregory De La Rosa






I’ve watched you cry many times before

Each time I walked out the door

Increasing the distance

Giving in to resistance

You see the world that’s unknown to me

I see the world you cannot believe

Enter the screaming

And dying for dreaming

As I stare out the window with the passing cars

You look right at me as if I am from Mars

No, you’re never quite happy right where you are

Keep on inventing shadows

Where there are none

No, there are none

Yeah, you keep on inventing shadows

Where there are none

You don’t even see the sun,

Can’t you see the sun?

It might be shocking that I want to leave

Just so you could be safe and happy

You just drain me

If I go, who could blame me?

And you stare out the window with the passing cars

And I look right at you like you are from Mars

No, I’m never quite happy right where you are

Right where we are

With all that we are

So we keep on inventing shadows

Where there are none

Where there are none

Yeah, we keep on inventing shadows

Where there are none

Where there are none

We’re so young, you’re so beautiful

Perfectly imperfect in my eyes

And don’t you know our love shines

Every time you smile

Why can’t you just smile?

Why do we keep on inventing shadows?

Where there are none?

Where there are none?

Yeah, we keep on inventing shadows

Where there are none

Where there are none

We don’t even see the sun

Can’t we see the sun?

It’s not surprising it could end like this

I knew it before our first kiss

I felt the distance

The cold and resistance

You dim the lights in the world I see

How I wish that I could still believe

In time to save me

If I go, who could blame me?

No Fury Like

             

Here comes the agony twisting in knots of new yet familiar aches of hate and…       

There go the memories, gone forever like they never existed before…  

Within the fabric, my most precious gift from life

Deep in the plastic, the best of me now lost in time

Here comes the sickness rising inside with the burn and a sting of shame and regret and...  

There go memories, the very best of me, the most loved pieces that you threw away...  

Within the fabric, my most precious gifts from life

Deep in the plastic, the best of me now lost in time

And the suffering, the pain, the misery, the torment begins…

And the suffering, the pain, the misery, the torment begins…

And the suffering, the pain, the misery, the torment begins…

And the suffering, the pain, the misery, the torment begins now

I'll Never Know

What went wrong I’ll never know

But it’s for the best oh that I’m sure

I see your face I want to cry

Such beauty that will never die

You seem so happy I hope you are

You deserve the best that life has to offer

One day I hope to see you again

And hear your voice like we’re still friends

I love you so much it hurts inside

Maybe I’m wrong but just maybe I’m right

If only I could kiss your lips

You would see by the sway of our hips

Our love is true but just a seed

Needing time and some company

And in the night it will grow

And blossom into something beautiful

With the dawn our love will rise

And echo throughout all thought and time

To forever change our known lives

And the future of all mankind

But what went wrong I’ll never know

You made a choice, maybe you chose wrong

But if you are happy where you are

Then I’ll stay right here but not too far

Because I love you my friend

And my love for you will never end

Deja vu

Déjà vu, angry in my bones

Never knew, I was so alone

Is life more than this?

Hope life is more than this, for some

Déjà vu, all has gone wrong

Maybe you and I could get along

Me and you, could be happy

Together as if we were meant to be

Can life be better than this?

Hope life is better than this, for some

Déjà vu, I’m so confused

Lost and damaged, and you never knew

I can be more than this

I want to be more than this, for you

Is life more than this?

Hope life is more than this, for some

Can life be better than this?

Hope life is better than this, for some

I can be more than this

I want to be more than this, or none

Goodbye

What have I done?

 I have no one to blame but myself.

I’ve lost something I truly treasured.

 It’s my entire fault. 

This pain, this overwhelming ache is familiar yet new.

 How could this have happened? 

I hate myself so much. 

I always have.

 I deserve to suffer. 

I don’t deserve any of the good things in my life. 

I deserve to die, and I will soon enough. 

I really did try to do the right thing. 

I tried to make good choices.

 I made a serious effort to ignore the darkness, 

to cage the evil inside me, but it doesn’t work like that. 

The trick is learning to live with it and to control it.

 However, I failed.

 I am too weak and too stupid.

 I have fallen again. 

I don’t know how to pick myself up this time. 

Maybe this evil rising inside me will teach me how to make and survive the climb. 

Maybe this darkness will save me, and others, by taking my life. 

Maybe this is my fate. 

I thought I knew enough. 

I thought I understood enough, 

but now I feel so lost and confused. 

All I want to do is watch the blood flow out of my wrists

 and feel the comfort of knowing I will never break another heart and hurt another soul. 

I doubt my death will damage any hearts and souls, 

but if it does, it will only be a few and it will be the last time. 

She’s right. 

They all are. 

I am wrong.

 I see what they see now, but I can’t change any of it, not really. 

Not enough to satisfy them. 

I can’t be what they want and need me to be.

…

I didn’t think I could care so much for someone again. 

I didn’t believe I was capable of loving someone so much again.

 I was certain that I couldn’t be hurt again and that my heart was unbreakable.

 I didn’t consider non-romantic love though. 

I didn’t prepare myself for that. 

I love her so much.

 I miss her.

 I wish it didn’t have to end this way. 

I wish it didn’t have to end at all, 

but I know it’s for the best.

 She knows it too, if she doesn’t now, she will know it later. 

It hurts to know she is suffering, and because of me.

 All I want to do is help her, to save her, and ease her suffering.

 I wish I could make her happy.

 I enjoyed making her smile and feel good. 

I enjoyed spending time with her. 

I loved being her friend. 

I hope she finds someone who can help her, to make her happy,

 and be what she wants and needs. 

Although I don’t deserve it, I hope she will forgive me someday. 

Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend.

       

  

LOVE YOU

What if you didn’t choose to leave?

What if you didn’t walk away from me?

What am I if you could just leave?

What am I if you could just leave me?

What if you hadn’t told me the truth?

What if I didn’t feel so goddamn used?

What if you came back just to leave again?

What if it all was just pretend?

What then?

All I know is I love you unconditionally   

All I know is I want you enthusiastically

All I know is I accept you wholeheartedly

That’s all I know

What if you didn’t break the promises you made?

What if you didn’t dig your own goddamn grave?

What if you owned up to your mistakes?  

What then?

It doesn’t really matter

‘Cause all I know is I love you unconditionally   

All I know is I want you enthusiastically

All I know is I accept you wholeheartedly

That’s all I know

That’s all I really know

That’s all I really know

That’s all I really know

That’s all I really know

I know I love you for all eternity

I love you, love you, oh oh

I love you, love you, oh oh

I love you 

Melt Into You

Today I missed you more than ever

I wish we could be together forever

I want to kiss and hold you

I want to melt right into you

The days you’re gone are so lonely

The days you’re here leave me wondering

When will you leave this time?

How long until you’re not mine, again?

I want to hold and kiss you

I want to melt right into you

The days you’re gone I’m so lonely

The days you’re here leave me wondering

Maybe when you’re done running

I might be far away done waiting

I’ll always welcome you with open arms

I’ll always be there to protect you from harm

I’ll always forgive you

I will always love you

The days you’re gone are so lonely

The days you’re here leave me wondering

The days you’re gone are so lonely

The days you’re here leave me wondering

Today I missed you more than ever

I wish we could be together forever

I want to kiss and hold you

I want to melt right into you

TEARS IN THE RAIN

I’m sad for those who suffer and don’t want to anymore

I’m sad for all the children who have no idea what’s in store

For their futures in this world made up of death and deceit

I wonder if they’ll care enough to one day believe

In a world most different than the one that exists now

A world of peace and love and light and maybe somehow

They’ll learn to lead and set the example instead of following like sheep    

Maybe they’ll learn to be anything than a fucking zombie

I’m sad for this country and the stupidity it creates

I’m sad so many think that their bullshit tastes great

That they’re holy, right, and just for all the lies that they tell

When in reality they’re nothing more than demons from hell

Who only care about themselves and being rich and in control

Of anything and everything and they don’t want us to know

That they poison and kill us and manipulate our minds

I’m sad that people know this and still think everything’s fine

I’m sad for our youth who are oblivious and naïve

Stupid, apathetic, rude, and ignorant like it’s a fucking disease

An epidemic of the worst kind, where did it all go wrong

Was it Twilight, MTV, or something from a song

I’m sad for the desperate, for the hungry, rich and poor

I’m sad for the abused, the neglected, and adored

I’m sad for the famous, for the whores and slaves

I’m sad for those who choose to drink their lives to the grave

I’m sad for you and me and what has become of planet earth

I’m sad for all the plants and animals that have suffered our wrath and curse

I’m sad because it’s sad to think of all these things

Amongst countless others that have hurt my brain

Because it’s overwhelming and driving me insane

Because these words are nothing but tears in the rain