Goodbye

What have I done?

 I have no one to blame but myself.

I’ve lost something I truly treasured.

 It’s my entire fault. 

This pain, this overwhelming ache is familiar yet new.

 How could this have happened? 

I hate myself so much. 

I always have.

 I deserve to suffer. 

I don’t deserve any of the good things in my life. 

I deserve to die, and I will soon enough. 

I really did try to do the right thing. 

I tried to make good choices.

 I made a serious effort to ignore the darkness, 

to cage the evil inside me, but it doesn’t work like that. 

The trick is learning to live with it and to control it.

 However, I failed.

 I am too weak and too stupid.

 I have fallen again. 

I don’t know how to pick myself up this time. 

Maybe this evil rising inside me will teach me how to make and survive the climb. 

Maybe this darkness will save me, and others, by taking my life. 

Maybe this is my fate. 

I thought I knew enough. 

I thought I understood enough, 

but now I feel so lost and confused. 

All I want to do is watch the blood flow out of my wrists

 and feel the comfort of knowing I will never break another heart and hurt another soul. 

I doubt my death will damage any hearts and souls, 

but if it does, it will only be a few and it will be the last time. 

She’s right. 

They all are. 

I am wrong.

 I see what they see now, but I can’t change any of it, not really. 

Not enough to satisfy them. 

I can’t be what they want and need me to be.

…

I didn’t think I could care so much for someone again. 

I didn’t believe I was capable of loving someone so much again.

 I was certain that I couldn’t be hurt again and that my heart was unbreakable.

 I didn’t consider non-romantic love though. 

I didn’t prepare myself for that. 

I love her so much.

 I miss her.

 I wish it didn’t have to end this way. 

I wish it didn’t have to end at all, 

but I know it’s for the best.

 She knows it too, if she doesn’t now, she will know it later. 

It hurts to know she is suffering, and because of me.

 All I want to do is help her, to save her, and ease her suffering.

 I wish I could make her happy.

 I enjoyed making her smile and feel good. 

I enjoyed spending time with her. 

I loved being her friend. 

I hope she finds someone who can help her, to make her happy,

 and be what she wants and needs. 

Although I don’t deserve it, I hope she will forgive me someday. 

Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend.

       

  

LOVE YOU

What if you didn’t choose to leave?

What if you didn’t walk away from me?

What am I if you could just leave?

What am I if you could just leave me?

What if you hadn’t told me the truth?

What if I didn’t feel so goddamn used?

What if you came back just to leave again?

What if it all was just pretend?

What then?

All I know is I love you unconditionally   

All I know is I want you enthusiastically

All I know is I accept you wholeheartedly

That’s all I know

What if you didn’t break the promises you made?

What if you didn’t dig your own goddamn grave?

What if you owned up to your mistakes?  

What then?

It doesn’t really matter

‘Cause all I know is I love you unconditionally   

All I know is I want you enthusiastically

All I know is I accept you wholeheartedly

That’s all I know

That’s all I really know

That’s all I really know

That’s all I really know

That’s all I really know

I know I love you for all eternity

I love you, love you, oh oh

I love you, love you, oh oh

I love you 

Melt Into You

Today I missed you more than ever

I wish we could be together forever

I want to kiss and hold you

I want to melt right into you

The days you’re gone are so lonely

The days you’re here leave me wondering

When will you leave this time?

How long until you’re not mine, again?

I want to hold and kiss you

I want to melt right into you

The days you’re gone I’m so lonely

The days you’re here leave me wondering

Maybe when you’re done running

I might be far away done waiting

I’ll always welcome you with open arms

I’ll always be there to protect you from harm

I’ll always forgive you

I will always love you

The days you’re gone are so lonely

The days you’re here leave me wondering

The days you’re gone are so lonely

The days you’re here leave me wondering

Today I missed you more than ever

I wish we could be together forever

I want to kiss and hold you

I want to melt right into you

TEARS IN THE RAIN

I’m sad for those who suffer and don’t want to anymore

I’m sad for all the children who have no idea what’s in store

For their futures in this world made up of death and deceit

I wonder if they’ll care enough to one day believe

In a world most different than the one that exists now

A world of peace and love and light and maybe somehow

They’ll learn to lead and set the example instead of following like sheep    

Maybe they’ll learn to be anything than a fucking zombie

I’m sad for this country and the stupidity it creates

I’m sad so many think that their bullshit tastes great

That they’re holy, right, and just for all the lies that they tell

When in reality they’re nothing more than demons from hell

Who only care about themselves and being rich and in control

Of anything and everything and they don’t want us to know

That they poison and kill us and manipulate our minds

I’m sad that people know this and still think everything’s fine

I’m sad for our youth who are oblivious and naïve

Stupid, apathetic, rude, and ignorant like it’s a fucking disease

An epidemic of the worst kind, where did it all go wrong

Was it Twilight, MTV, or something from a song

I’m sad for the desperate, for the hungry, rich and poor

I’m sad for the abused, the neglected, and adored

I’m sad for the famous, for the whores and slaves

I’m sad for those who choose to drink their lives to the grave

I’m sad for you and me and what has become of planet earth

I’m sad for all the plants and animals that have suffered our wrath and curse

I’m sad because it’s sad to think of all these things

Amongst countless others that have hurt my brain

Because it’s overwhelming and driving me insane

Because these words are nothing but tears in the rain

  

First Time

Never knew love ‘til I met you

Never knew beauty ‘til I saw you

Like seeing for the first time

Like breathing for the first time

I knew hate and I knew pain

You taught me to throw it all away

Now I know love and I know peace

And your love is all I’ll ever need

Time stands still when you’re around

And just one touch from you sends me to the clouds

Life’s too short and it moves too fast

Too precious to live in the past

All is love and all is now

So make every moment count

Time will pass you by without a sound

And with only one life to live, live it, live it now

Someday soon we’ll all be free

From the prison of lies and suffering

Truth is much more than it seems

Life is more than the American dream

Change is on the horizon

And love will shine bright with the rising sun

Never knew life ‘til I found you

Like living for the first time

Begins

The best is yet to come

Sooner than later for some

Fear will come undone

When we learn to be one

The best is yet to come

Later than sooner for some

Doubt will come undone

When we learn to be one

Illuminating the light of truth

Awakening to our true roots

The last revolution begins

The best is yet to come

Sooner than later for some

Hate will come undone

When we learn we are one

The best is yet to come

Later than sooner for some

Sadness will come undone

When we learn we are one

The best is yet to come

The best is yet to come

The best is yet to come

The last revolution begins

(The best is yet to come)

The last revolution begins

(The best is yet to come)

The last revolution begins

Warning Sign

When you turn away

A bit of you is not okay

It builds until it floods

A rising of coming undone

Watch for the warning sign

Watch for the warning sign

A break from the decay

And pain and misery

All you’ve ever known to want

Peace deep within your thoughts

Watch for the warning sign

Watch for the warning sign

Over The Rainbow

I could do better, if you were here with me

If you're wondering, I could show you

All that I'm feeling

All I've been wishing

Now, I'm waiting

Come set me free

Nowhere to go, nowhere to go, nowhere to go

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, nowhere to seek

Somewhere she goes, someday she'll see

I could be better, if you wanted me

But you're wondering will it show.

All that I'm thinking is all I'm hoping

Now, you're waiting to be set free

Nowhere to go, nowhere to hide, nowhere to be

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, nowhere to seek

Somewhere she goes, somewhere she lies deep asleep

We could better, if you let me be

The right one to set you free

All that I'm dreaming, all that I'm breathing

Is air of that which sets me free

Nowhere to go, nowhere to go, nowhere to be

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, nowhere to seek

Somewhere I go, someday I'll find, somewhere I'll be

Somewhere you know, someday you'll find, somewhere we'll be

Somewhere over the rainbow, our destiny

Wish

A wish for you to be here

Don't drown in your tears

Or lose yourself to fear

A wish for you to be here

I wish for you to be here

The day has come to heal

To run wild in the fields

Of all that used to be real

A wish for you to be here

I wish for you to be here

Free is not free, without you

Can you not see, I need you?

A wish for you to be here

To thrive in life without fear

Against the current of your tears

A wish for you to be here

I wish for you to be here

The dawn breaks as I ache

For you here by my side

A wish for you to be here

I wish for you to be here

Don't let me drown in my tears

Free is not free, without you

Can you not see, I need you?

I miss you

Do you miss me?

I love you

Can you forgive me?

I need you

From Your Lips

I used to think about you all the time

Now I can't seem to get him off my mind

You used to be someone I loved

Who are you now, where did you come from? 

I used to think we could have it all

Now I see our end before our fall

You used to be so beautiful and bright

Now I just want you out of my sight

Out of my life

So I can begin anew

Out of my life

The fault, I blame you

You push me away 

When all I want is to be let in

You push me away

As if getting close is a sin

When you pushed me away 

My heart sounded the alarms

When you pushed me away

 You pushed me in to his arms

I used to think you loved me too

But those three words I never heard from you

You used to be so kind and true

Unlike this person you have now turned into

I used to think I could help you 

Though I tried, I just couldn't get through

You used to be so full of joy and light

Now I just want you out of my sight

Out of my life

So I can begin anew

Out of my life

The fault, I blame you

You push me away 

When all I want is to be let in

You push me away

As if getting close is a sin

When you pushed me away

My heart sounded the alarms 

When you pushed me away

You pushed me in to his arms

The thought of your name 

I hope to forget 

The sight of your face, I pray

To never see again

Good-bye, my love

Good-bye, my friend

This is the end

This is the end

This is the end

This is the end

   

Spark

Truth be told, you must tell the truth

A lie within a lie is no longer for our youth

I’m not bitter, oh and I’m not sweet

But tonight I will have you on your knees

Inspiration for motivation in this institution that needs intervention

Damnation all over televisions and radio stations run by corporations

Oh, freedom, freedom forever

Oh, freedom, freedom forever

Truth be told, it’s not about the words

It’s not the sounds of music

Not the singing of the birds

It’s not even about art nor is it about life

Truth be told, it’s all a lie, a lie, a lie, a lie

Inspiration for motivation in this institution that needs intervention

Damnation all over televisions and radio stations run by corporations

Oh, freedom, freedom forever

Oh, freedom, freedom forever

Truth be told, it’s all up to you

To change this world and be who you’re meant to

Now I’m not kidding, no I’m not fooling around

How long do you think you can hold your breath before you drown?

Deforestation, politicians, medications, murderous villains, pollution…

Oh, freedom, freedom forever

A nation under classification by organizations with no salvation except a revolution

With concentration we can awaken with no frustration or irritation to reach ascension

Oh, freedom, freedom forever

Freedom! Freedom! Forever!