I have lived, loved, been lost, and lost that which I had held closest to my heart... that which meant everything to me. I have suffered, been broken, made mistakes, laughed, and cried. For the bad, I have no one to blame but myself. The pain and guilt I feel for my errors will never subside. They can only lay dormant until I am reminded of them again, for they are now a part of me much like I am a part of this world.
I have known love, real love twice in my life but I chose to walk away from it and to let it slip through my grasp. I was a fool; so very stupid and oblivious that I couldn't see what I had until it wasn't there anymore. Then, the pieces of the puzzle began to make sense. Once I saw my past choices clearly and realized the reality and truth in their significance, I finally understood. Now I have learned.
All I want to do is apologize, make amends, and atone for the evil things I did and said. It matters not if I am forgiven. I deserve punishment.
Life is strange. It is funny.
When the darkness rises the light fades away, but in time the light will shine bright again.
...
That time is now.
...
If home is where the heart is, my heart is far from reach and home is the only place I may find peace. Thousand of miles separate me from home and only one complication prevents me from being where I belong.
The keys no longer belong to me. Every locked door and every hidden room that protect my secrets are now left in the hands of fragility, beauty, truth, and love.
I miss you.
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